Femme on Femme Guidance. I’ve gotten an emails that are few from femmes which can be just interested in other femmes.

I’ve gotten an emails that are few from femmes which can be just interested in other femmes. They truly are wondering why that is not represented more on this, or other blog sites. It appears that the butch/femme dynamic could be the more commonly accepted arrangement. Therefore I wanted to handle that just a little.

To start with, you might n’t have recognized it however the Girl Zero saga is focused on another femme. In reality, it is about a few. S and Zoe had been both femmes. I’m femme. When it comes to first years of me personally finding out the way I squeeze into the community that is lesbian I became just drawn to femmes.

We never experienced any prejudice from the right globe once I ended up being dating other femmes and I also believe that’s that we were actually lovers because it’s easier to pass for two straight besties that are really really close, then for people to realize. And also then, whenever guys see two femmes kissing, they tend to imagine girls are bisexual and so they address it just like a special floor show, simply for them.

But in addition, i am aware large amount of femme lesbians that are just drawn to other femmes. In Los Angeles this indicates to be about 50/50. As soon as we head out to a club the probabilities are about even that a femme shall be with a woman that might be her sis or an even more masculine styled lesbian.

I’m really not necessarily certain things to write because of this topic, and even though I’ve gotten requests that are several. Other then to express that femme/femme relationships and butch/butch relationships are since typical as butch/femme relationships. Simply perhaps it is not quite as noticeable since when two girls are both the“type” that is same can be seen erroneously as platonic buddies by onlookers, unless they’re rendering it super apparent that they’re together.

Then even though both girls will be the type that is same and also for the benefit of composing the thing I understand, two femmes, there clearly was nevertheless often some form of part assignment. By that we suggest, one woman typically takes the lead. It’s not arbitrary but a lot more of an all natural selection predicated on each girl’s very own personality. I’ve discovered that there was frequently some form of ying and yang in most relationship it doesn’t matter what the appearance that is outer.

I’m not necessarily talking about funds or opening doorways. Because that’s all extremely unique every single few, their circumstances and their convenience levels. I suppose just exactly exactly what I’m wanting to state, is even it’s likely that one of you will be the aggressor and the other will be more passive if you’re femme who’s into other femmes. This can be simply human instinct. If you’re both passive, then just how in the world are you going to ever meet up? Some body has got to result in the very first move!

Which brings me personally to a great point. How can a femme allow another femme know they’re interested?

Well, the very first thing we discovered (only a little belated) would be to ask some concerns first. Find out if the femme you’re eyeing is available to dating other femmes or perhaps is she difficult core into butches and just butches? There’s absolutely no reason to have your ego that is fragile shot for absolutely nothing.

A person’s preference has absolutely nothing to do if they like a type that you just aren’t with you so don’t take it personal. Just accept it and move ahead.

But state you see away that this woman is into other femmes or at the least ready to accept it. Then that is whenever you should be only a little courageous. Have a deep breathing and ask her down. Ask her away for coffee.

A coffee date could be the universal sign for “let’s see if we click before we have stuck together on a lengthy drawn out, embarrassing date. ”

As it’s constantly confusing about who will pay whenever two femmes are dating, the most readily useful bet is to choose the guideline, whoever asks the other one out, will pay. Unless she asked YOU down, then chances are you anticipate going Dutch of course she insists on having to pay then chances are you state “Thank you” and pay money for the following date.

Funds are something you two will discuss later on, if as soon as it becomes a “thing. ” But until then, you spend on her if you ask her away. If she insists on having to pay, allow her to. Just don’t be described as a jerk and do exactly just what seems appropriate into the minute.

The thing I would personally stress is available, truthful interaction. I am aware, shocker right? It can take some guts to there put yourself out, however you need to, particularly when you’re a femme into other femmes. Because some one needs to ask one other down. If she’s was previously expected down, then you may need to result in the very first move regardless if that is way outside your rut.

We heard one thing 2-3 weeks ago that basically stuck I think it’s perfect for this situation too with me and:


So don’t worry if you’re femme into femmes, or butch into other butches. That’s normal! All things are normal. What’s not normal is fighting who you really are and attempting to squeeze into some preconceived idea of whom you might think others would like you become. RELAX. And ask her away. ??